InternetAunty

Thought: I Get Over It Only To Get Back Under It.

You get to a point where you’re just over it.

You get to a point where you’re just over it, you think.
It’s a very enjoyable yet temporary I’d call feeling, but it’s more so a realization that’s very reoccurring.

The carelessness has the ability to be so peace filled. I assume being careless resulting in you caring less is the only control you have over yourself when emotionally and mentally everything has become so numb you’re stuck. To not necessarily care about anything and to just feel without thinking, to do without explanation, and just follow is the only time everything is alright because you don’t have the energy to question the hopes of making sense of the senseless.

Then something clicks and you realize stuff beyond your control sucks! Without explanation it was some underlying trigger that now has you bothered, offended to say the least. You can’t fathom the thought of certain aspects of life. Yet you try so not your back where you started not over it, in act under it more likely than not.

In all I feel like this happens to be courtesy of you perceiving situations however you perceived them without being able to acknowledge how you feel (felt). So you hold onto it hoping for the day you get the chance to explain or even bring pain to whatever disturbed you and the only way to do that is to not forget. [Sounds like an uncanny defense mechanism that only contributes stress to one party but, “go off”.] So we aren’t giving ourselves the opportunity to move past… when in hindsight we need to work it out independently because no one cares except us.

New Age Rhythm and Blues

Everybody was so upset when old heads didn’t recognize the sounds, artistry, and other elements of what is now considered rap, in 2019. We stressed that times have changed and so did the sound therefore it should be respected. I’m saying this to say we are unconsciously doing the same thing to the genre of R&B which is very much alive and well.

what is R&B? R&B is an abbreviation for Rhythm and Blues. 2.) A kind of pop music of African American origin with a soulful vocal style featuring improvisation.

” In classic R&B, there is a straight up stacking of vocal harmonies, which writer-musician Stuart Goosman says reminds him of the urban environments of Baltimore and Washington DC where the music got its start. He suggests that the physical and psychic aspects of the city, in particular, those cities’ urban segregation, helped shape the consciousness of the musicians, who freed themselves through the limitlessness of singing, engaging the imagination to soar beyond the limitations of place. ” – Mark Edward Nero
read more in the article “The origin and history of R&B Music”

*[From Left to Right]:* Brent Faiyaz by Zhamakthecat, Ty Dolla Sign, Masego by Filmawi, SiR

Why don’t we consider what’s being put out in today’s time “R&B” for what it is, which is “R&B”. We have Ari Lennox, SiR, Snoh Aalegra, Chloe x Halle, Nao, H.E.R, Jesse Reyes, Luke James, Teyana Taylor, Ty Dolla Sign, 6LACK, Eric Bellinger, Brent Faiyaz, Jeremih, in addition to all the your classic r&b singers still dropping music that goes unnoticed essentially because it is OLD. “New age” R&B accommodates the new age sound and lifestyle. No, people aren’t making it a point to beg to be loved on records as much because it’s a thing this generation has and that’s self worth. Rhythm & Blues..

I see a lot of slander from consumers complaining that some of these up and coming artist don’t have the range of artist such as Whitney Houston for example. When in reality the masses would still come for them if they even tried to wear themselves thin vocally oppose to what they know they can do and create with to still put out quality music.

*[From Left to Right]*: Snoh Allergra by Grizzleearts, Chloe x Halle, Jorja Smith by Michaelaquan, Leven Kali by Karoni

It’s a simple solution for all of this selfish consumption. Go listen to the old stuff from older eras if you happen to be one of those who mistake nostalgia for micro-aggressive fandom because depending on your age range it was a simpler time when “I want to put you to bed, bed, bed” by J. holiday was playing uncontrollably and you want to keep triggering you brain to relive those feelings therefore you don’t accept progression but have the nerve to disguise it all as a critique.

People don’t even pay attention to the fact remixes or beat samples doesn’t coincide with longevity..it’s cute though, the sound burns out fast due the fact we’ve not only heard it before; it makes us want to go listen to how it was originally sung AND we are use to it already. People want progression and newness they just don’t know how to embrace it or developed the ears for it yet.

Then we have the R&B artist that prosper enough get on labels that end up trying to reconstruct their artistry as a whole. Resulting in us either getting silence or no music of original substance since the point of it is to contribute to getting out of such contract. Those particular artist have been seeming to go independent in order to reinvent themselves; a good example of this is Tinashe who just put out “Songs for You”, be sure to run it up whilst an often asked question is “what happen to Tinashe?” among others.

*Tinashe by IG Jasonaltaan Hair: @Lilhunty_ Make-up: @Raoulalejandre Stylist: @mmmmylipshurt*

Make sure you take the time to check out:
Pink Sweat$
Masego
Lucky Daye
Quin
Mariah The Scientist
Yuna
Tony Collins
ODIE
Sy Ari da kid
Yo Trane
Rico Love
PJ Morton
Kiana Lede

If you made it here and I might’ve forgot anybody it would be greatly appreciated if you left a comment listening who to “put us on”, share a playlist if you care to, even care to elaborate if you will.

I’m Bored.

I’m unamused, unimpressed, and uninterested with my space.
I can only influence and or inspire myself so much.

I want to elevate so badly in so many instances/aspects but I’m aware I am lacking something that’s causing me not to know how. So in the meantime I’ve just been floating and not focused while trying to gather inspiration from, unfortunately that has been resulting in my silence because I have nothing to say since I can’t even comprehend the feelings of much of nothing along with what life means at this time for me. The irritation gathered from all of this is draining also but fortunately even if it’s empty ideas I figure I keep spit balling them in the hopes everything will start flowing, again, although I don’t know what happens to be.

I’ve outgrown (or I’m more so in the process of outgrowing) myself and I appreciate that but I’ve realized I don’t know how to be in control of what I want and the funny thing about that is as I write this I’ve come to the conclusion that’s probably the point. To let life. I can’t explain the emptiness I’m feeling it’s in no regards of creativity either I know it’s a transition though, to transcend whatever that means it sounds like it goes with what I’m saying though. I suppose I’m supposed to be learning something right now yet I’m so focused on what I’m not doing/feeling I can’t enjoy the process I’m being put through having time to “learn”, realize, rationalize, and or discover to help me create as I do nothing because I’m ANXIOUS … to execute.

I assume I shouldn’t shut myself down but since I write on what I know & feel if I’ve given all the knowledge I have gained in this lifetime of mine at this time… I have nothing to enlighten you with, If I feel no ways so it’s nothing to talk about resulting in nothing at all and I’m better than that. So you see how I grow irritated with the process. I feel free and pointless at the same time and I’m so okay with it the flow of, “nothing”, I’m comfortably uncomfortable with the fact I’m not learning when in fact I’m just simply living.

I can’t believe I don’t know what I’m doing right now
captured by idris_is_nooice

As I reread this I also figure this process is scary to me since I’ve come to the current end of and I’m on my way to my next journey of what just might be content expansion but I’m so focused on my purpose not being fulfilled without my satisfaction when really I need not forget It’s still more to come.

Short Sermon: Allow yourself to be Embarrassed

Value the feeling of embarrassment.

Once you get over it the first time you’ll either realize it wasn’t that bad or you’ll put in the effort to not feel that way again.

Every time I publish a set of words I hate them and I start to hate the publishing completely. Rarely do I ever feel like “Wow this is good!” and even when I do by the time I’m finish.. I hate it. I feel like it loses it’s value. I feel like it’s whack! I could’ve done better, I’m lacking what others possess so easily, yet I still put it out.

Why do I still put it out content I don’t feel sure about? Because first off I know sometimes it’s just me excepting myself to be so great off the rip. Realistically how am I suppose to get better without the advances to learn.

It’s many elements I know I lack because I keep going, if I didn’t have proof my words from late 2016 are far more poorly put together I wouldn’t be proud of how far the structure of my words have come as time has progressed.

I knew what I didn’t have, I knew what had the potential to discourage me, I knew what everyone else had, I knew when I started I’d be a mess, but I also knew for sure I’d be good at what I wanted to do, I knew what I had to say held weight! SO I encourage everyone to “make it happen” regardless of circumstances and build, try.

After my 2016 go at things 2017 had me feeling like “okay, I’m good at this” according to the elements of my 2018 set of publishing’s the literacy of 2017 probably truly sucked but I would’ve never had the opportunity to value the structure of what I’ve been putting out 2019. I’ve learned so much forcing myself to step in front of “embarrassment”, even though I feel admirable of my ability to execute my craft and or put things together YEARS! Later. I have had the opportunity to notice everything else I need to work on to elevate me even higher.

Essentially the point is to not weaken yourself or contribute to your stagnation because you don’t want to be embarrassed, eventually it’ll become a moment you can laugh at to only smile at your strength.

I’m referring to this as “embarrassment” but as I finalize this I’m realizing that It’s the feeling of being mediocre that is what’s embarrassing and that’s okay because with time you’ll develop the ability to be as great as you desire to be. I also suppose how things are to be perceived by others can have you on the fence but remember everything isn’t for everybody.

Why I stopped saying “nigga”

With the whole “don’t say nigga unless you’re black” rhetoric going I feel the need to cover the importance of respecting that on a wider spread before I just jump in on why I stopped using the word.

What It Means: The word “Nigga” is derived from “Nigger”. If you aren’t familiar with what a “Nigger” is it’s a noun (considered offensive) USED as an INSULTING AND CONTEMPTUOUS term FOR a BLACK PERSON, also USED as an INSULTING and CONTEMPTUOUS term FOR a MEMBER OF ANY DARK SKIN RACE, and (now often, still considered offensive) A MEMBER OF A CLASS OR GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO ARE SYSTEMATICALLY SUBJECTED TO DISCRIMINATION AND UNFAIR TREATMENT. [minding you that the last usage of the word still very much so correlates with black/dark skin people thank you.] It is a word that is “still at the center of anti-Black verbal distortions” if you’re black you can attest to the fact you’ve been called “nigger” in today’s time. The African American Registry was kind enough to provide a well written explanatory breakdown “Nigger (the word), a brief history” on the origin of the word, including the widespread derogatory meanings and what it meant to be considered a “Nigger”.
What is a “Nigga”: Nigga is a form of “Black Pride”. African Americans had to endure a lot of torture behind being a “Nigger” and as time progressed black people felt it would be benignant to take what was once detrimental to them and show that it no longer has the power to hold any weight. [with that being said, our African American Black ancestors had to fight for that! Which is why the fight continues through anyone who feels the need to press the issue on why a non black person shouldn’t say nigga] Yes it showcases oppression and yes you’re ethnicity was probably oppressed too but the line that is drawn in between both sides happens to be Black so let Black people be in regards of Black history and what it means to be Black in America, let alone anywhere, without feeling as if they have to accept the actions of everyone when in plain sight our actions doesn’t even get allowed justification in regards of why the respect is Mandated, let alone the least that can be allotted to us without argument.

here we have real feelings/words from real people,

“Well at first before I found out being Afro Rican was a thing I wouldn’t say my family was anti black my dads side is my moms isn’t but I knew two ways the word could be used one in a derogatory way and one which was just slang that had no “bad meaning” to it but I would say it and I never got checked for it EVER but anybody else that wasn’t black would get checked for it people would say but you Puerto Rican you from the hood so you get a pass not even mentioning that I was dark or not but as I grew older being taught that Boricuas like myself have that African DNA more than other Boricuas it made sense so now I’m one of them people doing the checking some people you can put in they place some you cant they’ll keep saying it I don’t condone non black people saying it even if they genuinely mean it as how we would use it but that’s just the way mfs grew up saying that word so its something they’re used to however they can unlearn that shit” – via twitter, @D0ntGetChipped

“Honestly …. I’m one of those people it depends what you’re using the word for… if it’s in a song I won’t really care I won’t lie, but if you’re directing it toward someone else no matter their race I’m like “who a nigga?” Tf?” – via instagram, @im.asil

“Me personally, I’m not sensitive to it. I disagree more for the fact that blacks can’t have anything for themselves without other groups feeling entitled. Esp people who aren’t white but aren’t black. Whites too, but other groups hide behind the fact that we crack down on whites its frustrating in general for blacks to be the core of the culture, yet diminished by every group. Which is apart of the game I guess. but the second we understand our value is the day we can see progression. synonymous to the artists v. businessman argument.” – via twitter, @nappyhednegress

When you are a White person and you don’t honor the wishes of a Black Person telling you to stop saying “nigga” understand how you just looked over black history, black people as a whole, and you may deem it not a big deal but that should let you know you have no business saying it because you can’t understand it, you don’t live it, and clearly you don’t even respect it therefore majority rules you have no business even trying to be apart of it. Even when you say “I don’t mean it like that” you disregard black history/black people because that’s what it means and that’s what comes with saying it.

It’s nothing wrong with being wrong if you’re willing to correct your ignorance. Ignorance is the lack of knowledge with willingness to be informed while stupidity is closed minded negligence in regards of taking the opportunity to understand and gain perspective/knowledge.

Why I Stopped saying “Nigga” It took me a good while to realize I used it to dehumanize and/or disregard the value of a Black Man. I only referred to Men as “N****s”, simply because I felt like they weren’t aligning with that it was to be a Man so I didn’t refer to them as one and not once did I think it to be offensive because I’m black myself, “my friends say it”, “I grew up where everybody says it”, “I’ve been hearing it all my life”. So as of now I refrain from saying it in general. What made me realize that I was doing this is watching a White Hispanic lady who says “Nigga” turn around and get into a conflict with Black People and say “Y’all just a bunch of Niggas” without realizing the connotation that came with that, hence why it’s was not preferred for her to say it in the first place. Me being Black wasn’t justification for my blatant stupidity. So now I’ve taken the initiative to equate Black Men to what they are which are Men, Guys, Dudes, and I feel good about that. Hopefully my negligence, the feelings from others, and origin history encourages you to not only reconsider but understand the fight on why it’s absurd to have it in your vocabulary anyways.

Real Love

I always stress to be yourself when it comes to building a foundation of support and love from people around you.

Be yourself for yourself.

The best thing you can do is be yourself, if you aren’t true to yourself you can’t expect people to be true to you. They don’t know you. They’re simply acting accordingly according to how you act and present yourself.

You shouldn’t have to jeopardize your self identity in order to justify someones presences in your life.

As people we overlook our habit of feeling so entitled to someones presence who is a present to us! We selfishly deprive ourselves of our own independent happyness to assure we experience some people who are simply not meant for us. We become addicted to the “ideally” and disregard the gift of thinking realistically.

“Do yourself a favor and reveal the real you so you can be loved and embraced correctly instead of accordingly”

All this, like everything else is very much so easier said than done. Which is understandable because once you realize that person or people don’t necessarily care for the “real” you… it’s a feel of disappointment.
Why does one feel disappointed by simply being themselves? They let who is “important” to them down in a sense, although that individual has nothing to do with you as an individual of your own.

That’s why I stress! To be yourself people are either going to respect it or neglect it and it’s nothing you can do about that, but value the people who rock with you in your purest form.

As a kid I kept getting thrown this particular lesson. None of the people I really wanted to be friends with cared for me because I was “weird” so I built up this persona to fit in and it kind of caused more grief than I’m sure I wouldn’t have had if I just accepted they didn’t care for me. What really made me realize this was when someone so important to me just disappeared out of my life after aligning myself to be everything they were eager for. That situation made me grow up and stopped caring and forced me to take accountability to the fact I wasn’t being myself.

I felt like if someone I’d give the world to didn’t see the importance in me while capturing everything they thought was important.. what else did I have to lose?

Some people won’t be able to grasp or respect the transition once you have such an epiphany, they’ll just feel like you’re changing when really you’re growing. Being you. The outcome of the transition can be so heartbreaking but also help you develop a strength of self so remarkable and pure it’s worth it.

I made up this saying a few years ago “I don’t think I’m anything, I know I’m everything.” and I like to reiterate it with “and everything isn’t for everybody!” which is just that.

Self Love, The Real Love.

Short Sermon: Growth is inevitable

Growth is inevitable.

Changes must occur in order for you to learn and gain perspective for different walks of life but essentially it’s up to you to determine what you’re going to do with the knowledge placed upon you. Growing pains are what I consider to be necessary unfortunate realities, events, or circumstances that create resistance. Or what we also look at as resistance because they benefit in discomfort or self destruction, of course we all make mistakes. A mistake is a verb meaning many things but one being “to blunder in the choice of” and in regards of these particular lifetimes we live because we’re always evolving. As in at a certain time in life you THOUGHT in favor of! Encouraging you to make what turned out to be a poor choice but look at it as an opportunity to start over new in present time by not making that same mistake again, also known as growth.

Wishing everyone much Peace, Joy, and Prosperity. Always. All ways

It’s not safe to be black

It’s not safe to be black but we been knew that
how could something so divine sometimes make me cry
I can’t explain it and I live it so I’m sure you can’t grasp it and I need you to understand that
we laugh so we don’t dwell in our sadness since all our tears are invalid

Many can’t relate but much rather sit in our face and soak up our grace to simply throw it back in our face while persistently trying to take our place

It’s not safe to be black but we been knew that
I’m uncomfortable, I’m worried, I’m smothered in feelings I’m not allowed to feel
for expression is mistaken for aggression although I thought I was just communicating
I trade my certainty for the opportunity to assure I can live to see another day
and that’s still not enough
I can’t relax anything can happen, to me, then be justified as tough love

You can’t relax when you’re on edge because you have to think however many seconds ahead of a trigger in order to escape your own fate

I think about the day I’ll die, the tears my family will cry
How as I lose my life my thoughts won’t be to reminisce but to think about everything differently I could’ve did when I didn’t even do anything to begin with

Our sadness is a party for uninvited pity, please believe I’m PROUD! just disappointed that the world frowns when they see me

It’s not safe to be black but we been knew that
It’s not safe to be black but for some reason only we can see that
It’s not safe to be black but nobody wants to talk about that, they much rather mention the way pants sag
It’s not safe to be black but I wouldn’t want to have it any other way and all my pride is built off that